Well, I did on the dieting front that's for sure!
Gosh, so much has happened since I last posted - not all good, not all bad. I no longer work for a LA I know work for myself - eeek! I took voluntary redundancy to focus on our little carpet and flooring business in Stamford. I much prefer this work, but unfortunately it comes without a guarantee of pay and without parental leave etc. Last night my little girl (and hubby) were being sick all night, this morning my little boy joined the puke party, but although I really want to join I am in our shop as without me being here and hubby dragging himself in to fit some carpet (and the mother in law being dragged over to watch the poorly babies) we couldn't open and if we don't open we loose trade and if we loose trade we fold!
I have had a lot of stresses in the past couple of months (well years to be honest) and this week I have come to realise that the one area of my life I control badly is eating. I am a control freak to my very core, yet food controls me. I can no longer afford emotionally, physically or financially for this to be the case. I also can no longer afford to do Dukan (with a very low income - when it's even there - we have to all be eating the same foods, so Dukan is no longer an option); I can't afford a slimming class (well, I could if I gave up Zumba, but I LOVE zumba and it helps me to reboot on so many levels); yet I can't afford not to get my weight under control.
In 6 years I have gained 7 stone! Now that's just down right ridiculous not to mention extremely dangerous. I look at fat people and think "gosh how did they let that happen", yet now I am one of those people who let it happen.
My name is Olivia and I am an emotional eater!
So, I decided to do what all the diet companies tell us... I went to my GP. I need a way to break the cycle of emotional eating and I need to break it now once and for all.
My GP was much nicer than I was expecting and I will be following her advice - and taking a little medication to help break my emotional eating cycle. So, here I am, back again (that's a song isn't it?) and as of yesterday am I had crept back up to a whopping 19 stone and an embarrassing BMI of 40 (that's dead I think on the NHS scales, not morbidly obese just plain old dead!), I'm not hiding it in the corner like of old, I am being bold and getting back on the horse.
There'll be no daily weigh in, my GP wants me back in a month for a weigh in, I'd like to hold out until then but know I won't be able to, so I will do a Monday weekly weigh in.
Fingers crossed I can break this cycle and get back to being me!