The wagon is rolling, now to get back on!

OK, so I admit it... I fell off (or rather jumped off with great force) the wagon yesterday, but it was Valentine's Day. I was dreading stepping on the scales this morning, but I stayed the same, so that was quite pleasing (and surprising) although I am under no illusion that it will catch me up at some point this week.

Today has been my first day of cruise and Oh My how wonderful it has been to eat salad and veg! Back to Pure Protein tomorrow mind.

Today I have consumed:

Breakfast: Oat Bran porridge, with cinnamon, skimmed milk and a sweetner (I normally avoid sweetners like the plague, but this Tesco own one was actually ok, it wasn't an aspartme based one, which may have made the difference) with a large glass of water.

Mid-morning snack: Nothing (was at the hairdressers, having my "do" tweaked)

Lunch: Salad (lettuce, spinach, cucumber, peppers, spring onion and cherry tomatoes) with a tuna, quark and non-fat natural yoghurt blend (it needed a squeeze of lemon and some garlic and it would have been like fishy houmous) with some diet coke.

Mid-afternoon snack: Beef

Tea (or dinner if you're posh!): Chilli con carne (minus the kidney beans) with broccolli, followed by a Cherry MullerLight with 2 cups of tea.

Still more to drink, but I am finding I drink a lot through the night.

It's been tough today, so I am glad it was a protein and veg day. I think it was tough though because I fell off the wagon yesterday, so today all those cravings I had supressed were back with avengance. It is true that the more you have of something the more you want.

Seeing as I need to stay on the wagon now until 7th May (that wedding I said about previously is 2 weeks earlier than I thought it was!) I have got James to take my before pics (ok so techinically my 1 week in pics). I can't actually believe I am going to publish them - I am wearing clothes that best show my body, without requiring an "adult content" warning. I'm not posing, they are just straight forward shots of me from the front, back and sides, this is me laid bare (or as near as I am ever gonna get to bare)

Deep breath in...

I purposefully didn't look at these before uploading them, as I was scared I'd chicken out if I did. I've never seen myself from behind and to be honest it makes me feel physically sick, but I am surprised by how "pert" in comparison to the rest of me, my butt is.

My post 2 babies, belly is vile, but I see that daily and think it so no shock there. A c-section with Lydia guaranteed my tummy muscles were shot to pot (still not together properly) - believe it or not even though I have always been big, pre-Lydia I had a relatively flat stomach. I hate my overhang (which even my Midwife after Lydia's birth hurtfully pointed out to me) and although Isaac was freshly squeezed rather than yanked out of the sunroof, so didn't add too much to my tummy woes, the breastfeeding certainly gave me booby woes to go with the tummy ones.

I love my children more than anything in the world and would repeat the process over and over simply to have them in my life, but there is no mistaking the fact that they have well and truly left their mark on my body - from stretchmarks, to saggy areas and a couple of cracking scars it is clear that they have been here!

So, back on the wagon I am and back on the wagon I plan on staying. The photos were definitely the right thing to do, re-ignited my motivation, but it's still very scary putting myself out there so to speak.

Now, all I have to do is press "Publish", might take me a minute or two to build up the courage for that, especially as I have also decided to keep a weight record at the bottom of each post... albeit a small one :)


Weight today: 19 st 1lb
Starting weight: 19 st 12lb (did a week of healthy eating & lost 2lb before starting Dukan, so started Dukan at 19st 10lb clothed - am now weighing naked)